Andromeda's Thoughts
by LauraWalden
Summary: Andromeda Tonks' thoughts after the Battle of Hogwarts


_Disclaimer: Not my own work- well, the characters and situation aren't!_

_Author's note: This is another rambling from another character, Andromeda. She's a bit overlooked, isn't she, but she lost an awful lot in the war. Her husband, son-in-law and daughter were all killed but I think we sometimes forget that Bellatrix and Narcissa were also her sisters. _

_This is to take place shortly after the battle, when she first sees Tonks, Lupin and Bellatrix. Grief is a complex thing and addles the thoughts, so I do mean for the tense, thoughts and emotions to jump around a bit._

That's my daughter lying on the floor.

Dead.

And my son, because Remus _is_ my son, lying next to her.

Dead.

My sister, my sister whom I look so much alike, lying there. On the floor. Dead.

Molly Weasley killed my sister. Molly Wealsey is the reason Bella isn't standing up, breathing. Talking. Laughing.

BeingroundedupwiththerestoftheDeathEatersandbeingtakentoAzakban.

We were all fed the same line, the same stupid line. We were _pure bloods._ We were _better_ than the others. _We_ were the _real_ wizards, all the mud-bloods and Muggle-borns and certainly the Muggles- the Muggles who _forced us into hiding!-_ were all merely scum between our toes.

Bellatrix believed it. Bella breathed it. Bella _was_ it and the belief that she was, because of the happy accident of her birth, better than the others was her life course.

Cissy, well, I'm not sure about Narcissa. She parroted it, yes, she married a pure-blood (a pure- blood Death Eater to boot!), yes, but there was always something . . . empty about her words. Unlike Bella, she never became a Death Eater but her husband was. I'm fairly sure my nephew, Draco, was one. But Cissy… something kept her back. I don't know what it was; she and I never spoke after I married Ted. I'm not sure Draco even knows Dora is his cousin. Perhaps it was raising Draco that kept her from joining He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. I don't know- can you be a Death Eater and raise a family? I suppose not.

I _love_ Dora. She's. . . she's dead but love never dies. I will never love her in the past tense. She's still present, still here, still handing me Teddy, crying as she leaves the house. I think she knew she would never return. I knew it.

I didn't stop her; I _wouldn't _stop her. My brilliant, bright, brave, vibrant daughter loved (loves, I suppose) Remus Lupin. He's quiet but brilliant and brave and vibrant in his own way. She showed it; he kept it inside. I never saw her so sad as the year when he refused to return her affections even though I knew he loved her. The one time I met him, in passing, I saw it in his eyes. He loved her and he was hurting as much as she was.

Then he came round to his senses and my daughter was never as happy as that brief time when they were married and expecting Teddy. Except, of course, when he left her but Harry beat him round the head, he came to his senses and returned.

Molly Weasley killed my sister.

But my sister killed my daughter.

Cissy is sitting there, looking at me. She is holding Draco. I suppose she does love him, like I loved Dora. I wouldn't know. We don't talk.

It's that line, that same stupid line. _You're three pure-blood girls and you should marry pure-blood wizards!_

Bella did and she's dead.

Cissy did and she's alive. Her husband and son are headed for Azkaban.

I married Ted and I'm alive. My husband is dead, my daughter is dead, my son is dead.

But my grandson is alive.

The son of a metamorphagus and a werewolf, he's looking up at me, cooing. I won't let him see his parents like this. He may not remember but I will. He deserves happy memories of his parents and I deserve to give them to him.

_BellaBellaBella, how could you kill your own niece? How could you by into that line so much it cost you your life?_

She hurt so many people perhaps she deserved what she got. I don't know.

She will never hurt again.

Molly Weasley is here, holding out her arms. I don't hate Molly. I don't hate anyone.

I'm leaning into her, Teddy crushed between us.

I'm crying and she's crying.

I've lost my sisters, my husband, my daughter and my son because of one stupid line.

Cissy is staring at me.

And she's turning away.


End file.
